Author Archives: iseeabeautifulfuture

Kindness = Happiness

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We can try and find happiness on the outside, we can buy nice things, we can surround ourselves with wonderful people. We can work out every day to get the best body and spend fortunes on lotions and potions to make us look pretty.

None of this matters if our thoughts on the inside are critical. If we don’t like who we are. A thousand people can tell us we’re beautiful and brilliant and for a while it feels good but it’s like putting a plaster over a shark bite. Eventually our own thoughts will creep in and undo it all.

We’re born needing love and kindness, if an infant isn’t shown any it won’t develop, it will grow up mentally damaged. We’re also not born thinking negative things, our concept of self is developed over time and consists a lot of what we’re told by other people.

So here we are all grown up yet we still carry round both our insecure child and our critical parent. Chances are your inner voice is critical, harsh, always giving yourself a hard time. You know what else you have inside you though? A nurturing side. The side of you that speaks kindly to friends, your children or family when they need you.

You have the ability to use that kindness on yourself. To speak kind words when you look in the mirror. To give yourself credit for the things you are doing good.

Think about when you are learning something new and you’re getting stuck. Which would be more helpful, someone coming over and yelling at you, telling you you’re useless, pointing out everything you are doing wrong? Or someone coming over and speaking kindly to you, pointing out what you’re doing right already and how you can build on that. When spoken to in that way, we thrive, we want to improve because we know we can, we step forward with confidence and a big smile on our faces, knowing if we fall we can just get back up again.

Kindness is the way to happiness. As adults we have choices that we didn’t have as a kid, we can choose to have Ice-cream for breakfast, choose to stay up as late as we want, choose to pop to the shops in our jammas (to buy more Ice-cream). We can also choose what we think, imagine that! Our thoughts are in our control, when we look in the mirror it is our choice to speak words of kindness to ourselves or give ourselves a hard time. Our choice.

Yet it can feel weird to say nice things to ourselves, another voice pops in going “That’s a load of rubbish you’re worthless” “Stop being so conceited” This is because we’ve programmed our brains to think the negative automatically. We might not have been bought up to praise ourselves, to love ourselves.

Today though, TODAY, you can undo that. You can rewire your brain, you can choose to be kind yourself. Those negative critical thoughts are still gonna creep back in, and your first reaction might be to get cross with yourself, frustrated that it’s not working. Well all that does is put you back in a negative cycle again.

It’s gonna take baby steps, learning to love yourself, learning to be kind to yourself. Start off small, find a teeny thing to love when you look in the mirror. Praise yourself for the smallest thing when you go to bed at night. Like everything in life, thoughts grow when we feed them. So the more you look at the positive, the more you focus on the good about yourself, the more this will grow.

Be your own kind friend, your own patient teacher, your own nurturing parent. Inner kindness is the key to happiness and it really is in your control.

I see a beautiful future podcast (Needs YOUR help!)

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This week sees the recording of the first ‘I see a beautiful future podcast’ and I’d really like your help with it!

I thought I’d start the first one talking about counselling, what it involves, who it’s for and generally what it’s all about.

There still seems to be so many misconceptions about it and if I’d known in my twenties what I do now I certainly would have had therapy.

So for this weeks show I’d like you to give me your own experiences (good or bad) about counselling. Your opinions on counselling even if you haven’t had it and any questions you might have about it. If you’ve had Counselling what did you gain from it? Would you recommend other people get Counselling and Why? That sort of thing!

To get in touch either email me at Iseeabeautifulfuture at gmail dot com or message the Facebook page at www.facebook.com/Iseeabeautifulfuture

Thank you so much for your help with this and I look forward to hearing from you soon!

Autumn Updates

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I’ve not updated the Blog in a little while as I’ve been nursing a cold that’s decided it likes me so much it wants to hang around forever and I’ve been busy with clients and making inspirational little pictures for the Facebook page.

All good positive stuff (apart from the cold) although even that offered me a chance to take it easy for a few days, clear my schedule and just relax. It was wonderful to sit around in my jammas watching period dramas and drinking tea for two days and reminded me of the importance of taking time out.

So Autumn is well and truly here, the leaves are turning red, I’ve pulled all my big cozy jumpers down from the wardrobe and the central heating’s been fired back up. I love Autumn, Autumn and Spring are my two favourite seasons. There’s a certain change in the air and for me it’s always a chance to look forward and see where I’m going. Evaluate where I am and where I want to be and make sure I’m on the right track.

So that’s what I’ve been doing, as well as learning and growing on my own personal journey. I’ve learnt that sometimes the only thing standing in the way of our happiness is our ego. It’s ok to admit you were wrong, it’s ok to say sorry.

I’m also learning to really be true with what I’m feeling. Even if those thoughts aren’t positive. I have days where I’m not as happy as others (especially a few days out of the month EVERY MONTH) I’ve learnt to communicate that with loved ones. To say I’m not feeling that great tonight, it’s nothing to do with you but I need to be left alone to watch Pride and Prejudice for a bit but then I’ll be ok.

Also learning the power of movement that once you set yourself a goal no matter how big and far away it seems when you move towards it, like really move towards it even if they are baby steps positive things start happening.

And once again I am inspired by the people around me, friends, family and my clients. I watch them take charge of their lives, make positive changes, deal with all the stuff life throws at them and make brave decisions that have amazing outcomes.

I’m also in the process of starting a Counselling podcast, hoping it’ll have the right balance of being inspirational, informative and enjoyable to listen to.  Really want your help and input with it so expect a post soon with more details on that!

So that’s my Autumn so far, make sure to enjoy yours too and take time out occasionally to go kick about in the leaves!

I’ll leave you with some of the pictures I’ve done lately from the facebook page.

 

 

 

Doctor Who and Steak Day (or a breakup survival guide)

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To say a breakup is tough is an understatement, it doesn’t matter if you’ve been with the person twenty years or twenty days or even if you were the one doing the breaking up, the pain still makes your heart hurt. It’s not just mourning for the person you’ve lost either but a whole future and dreams you had planned out in your head.

Although all break ups are different, the steps to moving on with your life will be pretty similar and are as follows. . .

Step 1 – Acceptance (or the not texting him/her constantly phase)

Its hard to believe that this person who just two days ago was talking about how you’re going to have gorgeous little babies together one day has now upped and gone and said they don’t want to be with you anymore. Denial is an absolute arse hole, it keeps you stuck with a false sense of hope. Leads you to believe it’s just a phase, they’re just scared, they’ll change their mind and see what they’re missing. Do you really need to convince someone they love you? (You don’t you’re wonderful but we’ll get onto that later) Knowing how much you love them could you have gone? Could you break their hearts? When someone loves you, well they love you, just as much as you love them. I know life’s not always as black and white as that, but you really can’t mess with love, it’s a powerful force and it’s either there or not. Say your situation is one of the rare situations where that person HAS got scared and they do eventually realise they want you back, well they’ll come back then wont they, regardless of wether you are begging them too or not. This way you also get to keep your self respect too.

Step 2 – Sadness (or getting the pain out and NOT self blaming)

This step is very VERY important in your quest to moving on, firstly you need to let the pain out. Now this means crying a lot, full on, curled up in a ball not showered for two days watching Bridget Jones sobbing into a tub of Hagen Daas (or any other good brand of Ice-cream) release of emotions.

Letting it all out (situation made worse by hideous old ladies jumper)

This bit hurts both physically and mentally, you’ll need some loving friends/family on standby to bring you soup and hold you while you rub snot into their best T-Shirt. Next comes the NOT self blaming part. If a dear friend had recently been left heartbroken would you say the following? – ‘Well what did you do?’ “It’s because you’re too fat’ ‘Well course he dumped YOU you’re so needy’ ‘Maybe if you’d been a bit less boring he would have stayed’ Would you say those things? Of course you wouldn’t. Yet when we get heartbroken these are often the thoughts we say to ourselves. We’re so mean to ourselves and that’s just going to slow the healing process down (A LOT) So you have to be nice to yourself with no blaming, the same way you’d be nice to your little sister or best friend. Show yourself some loving kindness at the point where you need it most.

Step 3 – Anger (or the bit where you avoid sending them a drunk abusive text at 3am)

So now you’re not blaming yourself you’re blaming them, they have caused you complete pain and are the reason you haven’t washed your hair in a week. Now some breakups are sad but the other person really didn’t mean to cause you pain. It’s likely at some stage in your life you’ve either broke up with someone or have had someone like you and not returned the feeling. Most of us know how it feels to like someone and then for whatever reason those feelings fade away. Of course on the flip side to that some people are just mean (I could go into how if they’re able to cause pain it must mean they suffer some way themselves but now’s not the time for empathy towards them) You are angry and you want them to suffer, it’s highly likely though that if you surrender to your anger and send the drunk text or start screaming at them down the phone that you are NOT going to get the reaction you wanted and you’ll be left feeling just as terrible as before. This anger has to come out though, while it’s in your system it will make you snappy and tired and worse case scenario you’ll get ill. One way I’ve used both personally and with my clients is a feelings letter, don’t roll your eyes at me it really is effective. You need some time where you wont get disturbed and you get your pen and paper and you bloody go for it. You get it all out, every singe thing thats in your head, all that rage all that pain. Write until you feel exhausted and calmer. What you then do with the letter follows in step four.

Step 4 – Taking control back (the ceremonial getting rid of reminders)

So you have this rage letter and also all sorts of other reminders, photos, texts, emails, cinema stubs. All painful reminders of what you had that has now gone. So now you take the power back, this decision was made without your consent, it was out of your control, you never asked to have your heart ripped out and stomped all over. It’s time now to regain that control to make the decision to move on, to let it go. I think this part should be quite ceremonial an occasion if you will because it is a very important step YOU are making the decision to get your life back on track. So decide first whether this is something you’ll do alone or with some friends for support. First the letter has to go it’s best really if the time between writing it and getting rid is quite short so you may want to plan this bit first so you’re ready. Burning is best, it’s very final and satisfying (although fireman are gorgeous it’s best to do this outside and safely) now don’t send this letter off into the flames with rage (you’re better than that) send it off with thoughts of peace and calm. Next is going to be a personal choice, you may want to burn letters and photos but at some point in the future you will be over this and you may want to get nostalgic. I’d recommend packing all reminders up into a big box, sealing it and asking someone lovely with a loft to store it for you so you want be tempted to keep opening it up. Emails too, they don’t have to be deleted, I have a folder in an old email account entitled ‘Manchilds’ full of juicy stuff from old lovers who scorned me (I’m going to love reading those in the nursing home) All the while whilst you’re doing the packing away and or deleting /moving of stuff, visualise yourself letting go, imagine cutting the imaginary tie between the two of you and picture them fading away in your mind. Imagine a bright shiny beautiful path in front of you that you get to walk down once you’ve left all this stuff behind.

Step 5 – Me party (the bit where you spend a teeny bit of money)

Ok I know money is tight for everyone but you’ve had an emotional battering and you deserve some loveliness. This part can stretch to any budget, if you can afford it go shop, buy some new underwear, a new outfit, a new bit of jewellery. Go get your hair done, get a massage, a facial, your nails done. If moneys a big problem treat yourself to some lovely shampoo or arrange a get together with friends where you put on cheapo face-packs and drink god awful wine.

Shrek look guaranteed to make you feel sexy

Do something that makes you feel good, chances are you’ve spent the last month or so with greasy hair and a soup stained tracksuit on so even some new shower gel is going to feel good. Make yourself feel like a new woman/man, get a bit of strut back.

Step 6 – Me party part 2 (the bit where you work out what to do on ‘couple days’)

Normally when clients come to me and they’re going through a breakup there is a certain day (normally over the weekend) that they dread. This was the time they spent in a couple doing coupley things and now they’re single whilst all their friends are still off doing coupley things. So this day naturally brings back pain and longing for what you had well I say balls to that lets shake things up a bit. Saturday was my dread day after my divorce, Sundays I could handle I’d go get fed by my Mum or big sister but Saturdays errrr, all my friends had families (whilst my small humans would be off with their Dad) so it felt weird hanging with them and the ones without kids had partners so that felt weird too. So I decided to make Saturdays all about me ME ME! Saturdays became ‘Dr Who and steak days’ I can’t write this without gushing about my love for Doctor Who and Matt Smith especially, they had a big part to play in me getting happy again. For one the programe itself is so bloody lovely and good and inspiring and two Matt Smith is just so bloody lovely and gorgeous and yes me a grown woman crushed on him like a teenager but it HELPED. Something else I also love is eating steak and or a whole chicken with my fingers. Its gross but I don’t even care It makes me feel like a wolf or a viking or something.

Actual chicken I devoured by myself with my fingers.

The point is ‘Doctor Who and steak day’ is not something I would want to share with anyone else (possibly Matt Smith but defo no one else) It was all mine, just for me and something to look forward to. Even now happily settled down with a wonderful man I still refuse to watch it with any one else but me. So find a thing, go to the cinema by yourself, take a trip to the library stopping to get a coffee and people watch, go out and take photos, make something if you’re a craft type person, watch a series, go shopping for ingredients for something lovely to make JUST FOR YOU (Jammy dodger milkshakes also a firm favourite) make the day you dread into a day you love because it belongs to you and it’s the only time you get to do that thing you love (Sit around in my underwear watching Paul Rudd films also helped get me through)

Step 7 – Moving on (or the bit where you erase your future life painting and start again)

We spoke before how it’s not just a person you have lost but future plans and dreams, so now’s the time to recreate them. Before you met this person what did you want to do? Again for me when I was in my relationship I never wrote, I never went out and took pictures, I seldom bothered with making new social connections. The future doesn’t have to be scary just because you’re not in a relationship (at the moment) it can be a wonderful wonderful thing and an opportunity to do things that maybe you wouldn’t do if you were in a couple. This might mean learning a new skill, going to night classes, or picking up some knitting needles or a paintbrush, planning adventures, visits to see friends in distant places, visitis to make new friends in distant places. I think most of us crave being in a relationship but there’s also things to be missed about being single too. When you meet the right person you’ll be with them forever so why not make the most of being carefree. Also and this is probably another Blog post in itself but relationships are never healthy if they are your everything, if you’re in them because you can’t stand being alone, a relationship is best if it’s the cherry on top of the already delicious sundae. You are wonderful, just because one person out of trillions decided (for whatever reason) that it wasn’t right does not mean there’s not many many other people just waiting round the corner to have amazing adventures with you. For now though the most important fulfilling relationship you can have is the one with yourself.

And finally. . . 

This isn’t just a shameful plug for my profession but seeing a therapist after a breakup can be hugely beneficial. Often my clients are left feeling insecure and scared and helpless. A breakup can bring back old painful hurts and false beliefs. Talking through all of this with someone impartial (occasionally especially after some time has passed we feel we don’t want to burden our friends) can really help. All those steps above when done with a therapist become a little easier, we’re able to be kinder to ourselves and not blame because a good therapist will talk you through and get you to examine all the negative thoughts you are having about your life and yourself and work with you to change them into positive ones. To quote Mama Cass ‘The darkest hour is just before dawn’ you WILL feel better I promise.

One last thing. . . 

How can this face not inspire hope and a sense of adventure!!!

The raggedy Doctor.

Negative Truths

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We’re not born thinking negative things about ourselves. They come from outside influence, other people. Yet we adopt these negative truths quicker than Angelina Jolie does kids. Someone says something negative about us and we hold that and believe that and take that belief on as our own. Sometimes they’ve been told to us at such a young age we’re not even aware that the truth doesn’t belong to us.

We grow up shaped by other people, we bend and mould to fit in with what others expect us to be. Then wonder why we grow up frustrated and confused and not liking ourselves very much.

Think about some of the negative truths you have about yourself. Can you remember when you were first told it? Do you really still believe that now?

Maybe you were told something and you don’t even remember but over the years because you believed it you became it.

So does that mean you have to be that thing forever?

You’re a grown up now, you decide how you want to act, what sort of person you are, how you wish to live your life.

If you don’t want to hold that negative truth about yourself anymore then drop it. Think of the opposite of that truth, if its I’m worthless, then say to yourself everyday, I value myself and others and they value me. Repeat till you believe it and it becomes your truth.

Silence the scared child within you who still believes what others tell them. Calm and sooth them, you’re a grown up now. Remember as a kid when you couldn’t wait to grow up because you could do what you want? Well you can. That means you can choose to let go of past beliefs, choose to believe in yourself and choose to create your own positive truths.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes

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I’m going to write this post from the point of view of a Mummy (because that’s what I am) but Dads can apply it to themselves too!

So it’s back to school time, I get the same feelings and senses and smells even as I did when I was a kid going back. As I left to do the first school run in six weeks this morning it was crisp and sunny and smelled all Autumny. It reminded me of being a kid and that feeling going back, half pleased half dreading it.

I know for Mums who’s kids are just starting school, or those who’s youngest is starting school it can be an emotional time. Hey I got a bit emotional myself this morning dropping my big boy off at Juniors and I’ve been doing it for three years.

I’ve been reminded recently though after conversations with friends of the feeling I had after my second child was born. I’ve always wanted to be a Mum since I was a kid playing with my tiny tears but I also wanted to be a Zoo keeper, puppeteer, make up artist in a morgue (Blame My Girl) a DJ and a teacher. When Casper was born I had no career suddenly I found myself as just a Mum and a housekeeper. I wasn’t Nina anymore I was Mummy.

Now don’t get me wrong I LOVE being a Mum and I’m very aware that in itself it’s a full time job, but I felt like I had forgot who I was. For some of you being a Mum is enough and that’s bloody brilliant but I needed to do a bit more. So I began my training to do this, for me it has made me a better Mum. I get to teach my boys the value of working hard and more importantly working in a job that you love and I found me again.

Now Autumn with it’s change of season offers us up the chance to change too. As with everything in life through loss we find something else and maybe something completely unexpected. For some of you sending your babies off into the big wide world for the first time may leave you feeling a bit lost. You are still a Mummy though and always will be but you’re also allowed to be you too.

This doesn’t necessarily mean getting a job, it might mean going out and doing something you used to love. Or a brand new thing you discover you love. Spending time with yourself, relaxing, creating, playing and having fun. A time for you.

Embrace the fact you have made small humans who are now off to learn all that life offers, be proud as they embark on their own adventures. Remember you are still their Mummy, but for six sweet hours a day you get to eat cake without having to share and watch something else on TV apart from Dora the frickin explorer.

 

 

Making connections

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I wrote this last night after spending a wonderful evening with dear friends. I love interacting with people, I love having a random chat with a stranger in the supermarket. I haven’t always been like that though.

The usual rough time at school followed by a rough time working in a female dominated office plus relationships with countless unsuitable men, meant in my early twenties, I was quite closed off from people.

I had been hurt both in friendships and relationships and had come to the conclusion it was best not to give my heart to anyone and I decided girls especially were horrible creatures.

I was insecure, decided I probably wasn’t worth liking that much anyway and if you’d seen me out you would have thought I was very cold and probably quite stuck up. I kept the few friends I had close (possibly suffocating) and was just waiting for them to hurt me and prove me right.

What changed for me was several things, the first was having children. I softened and began to feel a bit proud of myself too. The second was my counselling training, learning to like myself, learning to understand people. Most importantly learning to understand myself and why I had attracted certain people and set myself up to be let down.

It’s all about perspective too, there’s two basic emotions – Love and fear. When we love but fear losing that love, it’s because we take that personally. If someone leaves or hurts us it must be out fault. We must have done something wrong. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???

With the fear comes expectations, you expect the other person to hurt you, you love them on the condition that they wont hurt you. We become so wrapped up in the fear of losing the relationship that we often act in ways that will make that happen anyway. Then we get the twisted pleasure of saying ‘Great I was right’

Love with fear attached is never a healthy thing.

When we get to a place of liking ourselves we understand that if people do hurt us it’s their issues and their choices, we did all we could. I’m not saying it doesn’t still hurt or we wont get sad but we understand it wasn’t personal. We’re able to mourn it and move on, to still keep our heart open to others.

The magical thing is that when you do rid yourself of expectations, when you don’t presume that you’re going to get hurt. When you are open and feel deserving of good loving connections, they happen!

My life has dramatically changed over the last seven years, I have friends that make my life a wonderful place to be in. I have a relationship with someone who loves me just like I do them, with no games, or fear I’m going to get hurt.

Yes after we’ve been hurt it takes a certain amount of bravery to open ourselves up again but out of this comes wonderful things.

When we protect ourselves from the fear of getting hurt we just create our own prison of fear which is a horrible place to live in. When we open ourselves up to love and truly believe we and others are worth loving, life becomes a very beautiful place.

 

No such word as can’t

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It used to bug the hell out of me when I was little and my Mum told me that. . . I say it to my own Son now and he replies with ‘Well yeah but I CAN’T eat a rocket can I?’ To which I smart arsedly tell him that yes you could give it a dam good shot, you’d probably break your teeth though.

It’s the nature of the word ‘Can’t’ it implies something is out of our control, that actually yeah we would like to do it but something is preventing us. In my head it’s always said with a bit of a whiny voice or hesitant or scared.

Now when you change it to a wont ‘I wont do that’ you own it, it becomes a firm decision. Not out of our control but a choice we are making.

Words are powerful things. . .

Should

Must

Try

I’d like to see them all banished from the English language.

Also ‘But’ that’s only because I’ve heard ‘But Mummy. . . ‘ at least a million times over the holidays.

So choose your words carefully and make sure they empower you.

I’ve never seen an ugly kitten.

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I kept having the same thought tonight ‘I’ve never seen an ugly kitten’ or baby for that matter. I mean yeah ok some are a little freaky looking BUT they’re babies and babies are gorgeous and puppies and lambs and hedgehogs. You get what I mean. We can be so harsh with ourselves and other people but why? What does it achieve? Why can’t we just tell ourselves we’re beautiful? Because we really are, these shells we live in are all so different. Some hairy, some curly, all different colours, big proud noses and cute little button ones. Some of us are soft and warm and some of us are hard and powerful. We are amazing and beautiful there is no ugly on the outside only from within.

 

Forgetting how to be happy.

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Sometimes we’re stuck in a crappy situation for so long that we forget how to be happy. Forget what it feels like to really laugh or even smile, would kill to grin like an idiot for a bit. Even though there’s positives in our lives when someone says to us “It could be worse” or “Count your blessings” You just want to punch them in the face.

There are steps to getting that happy back though, we know we can’t always change the situation. Cognitive behaviour therapy teaches us to change our negative thoughts about the situation. Even that can seem near on impossible though especially if the situation is really shitty and the thoughts we’re having about it are rational.

So what can we do then?

Well you need to attack the crap with a load of good stuff, you need to exercise your happy and you need to start with teeny baby steps.

There’s an area of your life thats not going well, you hate your job, you’ve a difficult person giving you grief, you’ve closed off from human contact, you dislike yourself, you generally feel a bit miserable.

Whatever the problem is firstly know you can overcome it. At some stage in your life you’ve felt happy and you will feel happy again. Look at where you’d like to be, whether thats inviting relationships into your life, feeling more content, feeling self worth, changing career, whatever your desired outcome is write it down.

Where you are now and where you’d like to be may seem like miles apart, an impossible journey, it’s not. Every journey starts with a small step and you just need to work out what that step will be.

The step has to be something you’re comfortable with and is doable for you. It might be as simple as taking half hour out of your day to sit and have a cup of tea and listen to some music you used to love. It might be making that connection with someone, something as small as an email or depending if you find them scary an actual telephone call. Go out and do something nice for yourself, get a massage, take a walk, go on a date to the cinema WITH YOURSELF. Go treat yourself to some nice food, sing, dance, draw, read your favourite book from your childhood. Do something though.

As insane as it might sound SMILE, put your shoulders back and lift your head high, remember out of all those millions of sperm you were lucky enough to swim like an olympian to that egg and here you sit a little miracle.

Happiness just like my long neglected stomach muscles will disappear if it’s not used enough so practice practice PRACTICE. If there’s some blurghhh in your life then add more happy to it. See once you feel happier you’ll feel stronger and the crap going on wont seem as important. If it’s all that’s going on though then obviously it will seem like your main focus.

So give your brain something else to think about, the more happier you feel in other areas the more the horrid bits will shrink down. Remember what used to make you happy, go as far back as you need too but find something even if its the teeniest of somethings, do that and it will grow.

Practice taking a moment out of the day and choosing not to think about the negative stuff. Start off small again so ‘For the entire duration of this song I’m not going to think about blah blah blah I’m going to think about that nice memory of blah blah blah or imagine how happy I’ll feel when blah blah blah happens’

Gradually increase that time, so ‘I’m gonna take a half hour walk and I’m gonna leave all the crap at home’ Practice thinking of a time you felt really happy, bring those emotions back to your conscious, really feel the feeling of peace and happiness.

Practice little affirmations like -

‘All is well and so am I’

‘My job might suck but god I’ve got amazing hair’

‘I give myself permission to take a mental holiday from my concerns and experience happy’

Only you know what makes your soul sing, maybe you’ve lost something and you think you can’t be happy without it but there was a time when you was and you can get to that place again.

So remember how to be happy, don’t let your happy go unused and turn to flab, start off small and most importantly as it always always is BE NICE TO YOURSELF you’re a little miracle.